If there’s one thing that keeps coming up in conversations, it’s that everybody is different. Every body is different. I’m going to share with you, looking back, some insights that I have from my first trimester. You may not go through the exact same things, but if you happen to experience something similar… At least you know you’re not alone. If you’re not even expecting yet, here’s some reading into what could -or could not- happen should you carry another life inside yours in the future. Maybe an appropriate title would be…
“Things to be Mindful About In Your First Trimester”
Worrying doesn’t change a thing. I was in Hong Kong for my birthday during my 6th week and some of the symptoms I had were cramps, spotting and brown discharge. My Doctor had given me some tablets to take on my trip just in case this happened. After a few texts back and forth, I was advised to start the medication and continue until our next appointment. I’m telling you, it was the longest 8 days in recent history. I was Google’ing online (bad idea! do not do this! it doesn’t help!) and scaring myself silly with all the search results that came up. Only my parents, and of course Jon, knew at the time; they kept reassuring me that everything would be ok. I hate to admit how frightened I was, but it’s the truth. A bible verse I kept revisiting was Philippians 4:6 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” At week 7, Jon and I witnessed a healthy fetal heart rate of 160bpm – that’s when we shared the wonderful news with the rest of our families.
Establishing a connection takes time. This one is a little harder to explain, but I’ll start with: I didn’t really feel like myself in my own body. It sounds confusing, and it is. All I saw was a sac during the first ultrasound when I found out I was pregnant at 5 weeks. In the beginning, the baby grows from the size of a sesame seed to a lentil to a blueberry to a kidney bean to a grape, etc… Still very, very tiny and honestly, I didn’t feel much of anything except for the bloating, nausea, fatigue, and loss of appetite. I think that took away from the excitement I expected to feel immediately. It was more like I had all these restrictions early on and kept thinking to myself, Will it really get better like everyone’s saying? (YES!) People around me were ABSOLUTELY THRILLED and here I was wondering when I would finally be able to authentically join in on that enthusiasm. Well let me tell you, I did pre-natal yoga for the first time this year at 14 weeks and that was my awakening. I almost cried after the class because at last, I felt that body-mind-baby connection I had been craving for all along. My little one and I had just completed a series of movements, breaths and meditations together and somehow, everything just aligned after that day. Greatest feeling ever.
*Keep in mind I’m now at 17 weeks, what many people call the ‘golden period’ that is the second trimester. For me, it has been true… I am more comfortable and settled with being in a state of constant change. With that attitude, everything is steadier and physically and emotionally, I feel much better overall. Thank You, Lord.